I AM AN EGOIST

by John Grauerholz

I make no apologies – I am an egoist.

I am an egoist – so I am unique.  I object to any comparison with any other human; I take second place to no other being.   All that I want out of this life is to remain distinctive.  I join nothing; I am part of no group.  I am alone.

I am an egoist – so I refuse.  No matter what you might suggest, I am going to repudiate it.   No matter what you might want of me, I am going to reject it.  If you reach out a hand to me, I am going to rebuff you.

I am an egoist – so I am disgusted by other people.   Merely being in the vicinity of another person leaves contaminated.  The very sight of other human beings only fills me with revulsion.  When I look at my neighbor, all that I feel is nausea.  When I hear you talk, all that I get out of it is a headache.   If I were to you embrace me, I will only end-up diseased.

I am an egoist – so I hate.  I am an individualist, so I loathe the herd.   The collective would say that I am full of malevolence; the communitarians would claim that I am full of malice.  And for good reason: my personality is complete; my self-worth is crammed to bursting; my self-esteem is to the brim.  There is no room for compassion for the likes of you. If I am forced to be around other people, everything I do will be an act of spite. I am an egoist – so I don’t need your help.  If I fall down, I can fight my way back up all on my own; if I am unable to rise, then I’ll rest where I am.  Either way, I don’t want your assistance.   I keep to myself; the only thing I ask of others is to have the good manners to mind their own business.

I am an egoist – so I am selfish.   I accumulate resources for my own benefit, not to waste money on worthless parasites like you.  I am greedy because I need to protect myself against someone else’s needs.   I owe nothing to other people.

I am an egoist – so I do not serve.  I don’t want to make this world a better place; I just want to become more of a self-sufficient person.   I only make an effort when it might benefit me.   I would be less of a person if I were to help another human being.

I am an egoist – so I keep my emotions to myself. It would only sully and stain my feelings if I were to expose the sentiments to other people. I keep things secret because no one else is worthy of sharing my passions. The less others know of me, the stronger I am. The more I keep hidden, the more powerful my ego.

I am an egoist – so I cherish my solitude.   Being alone is how I commune with myself.  The more that others come near me, the more I retreat into myself.   My privacy is worth more than your happiness. If I turn my back to the world, it is only because I can better retreat into my Self.

I am an egoist – so I know myself.  I am not concerned about investigating the world as much as my own self-exploration.  The opinions of other people do not matter to me in the least; all that I desire is to explore my own personality.  The only cosmos that might interest me are within my own psyche.

I am an egoist – so I worship myself.  I need none of your gods.  I spit on your savior.  I do my own redemption.   I do not transcend my ego; I am transcendent Ego.

I am an egoist – so I have just one thing to say to you.  GET OUT OF MY WAY.