by Mr. Mean-Spirited
Aw, what’s the matter? Are you upset? Did you get offended by what I said? Did you get all bothered by what you were told? Did you get your feelings hurt?
Well, your feelings need to be hurt. You deserve to be insulted. You need to suffer, bub. You need to feel the pain.
When I offend you, I am doing the Lord’s work. When I hurt your feelings, I make you realize just how unimportant you truly are. Offensive words are always accurate words. Offensive speech is invariably correct speech.
Do you think I disrespected you? Well, that’s right – I don’t respect you, and nor does anyone else. If you are a contemptible person, you are simply going to get a lot of contempt from other people. You are just human filth – and it is about time that you realize it. You are absolute scum, and it is about time that somebody told you what you really are. You are a loser, and you need to come to terms with it.
You have an unwarranted opinion of yourself. When you are offended, you see yourself for what you really are: worthless. When your feelings get hurt, you see the world as it truly is: inconsequential. You need to come to terms with just how insignificant you really are in the great cosmic scheme of things, and my offensive words are exactly what you need to hear.
Emotional pain occurs when actual facts do not match your inflated opinions. Maybe you simply aren’t as smart as you imagine yourself to be. Maybe you just aren’t as attractive as you would like. Maybe your own life isn’t as fulfilling as you suppose.
Being offended ultimately puts reality and your perception back into alignment. You should be grateful that someone has gone to the trouble of putting you in your place. There is a reason why getting insulted cuts you down to size. Having your feelings hurt is downright therapeutic.
You need to look yourself in the mirror and see just what a disgusting piece of shit you really are. It is absolutely essential that you get your feelings hurt in this world.
You need to be offended – and you need it special.