Saturday, January 10, 2015

I’D RATHER DIE ALONE

by Mr. Mean-Spirited

 
Death should be a solitary thing. Dying should always be a lonely experience.

I have never understood why the mass media wants everyone to have this fear of dying alone. When the time comes for me, I don’t want to spend my last days being serviced by the medical industry.

When I am ready to take my last breath, I’d rather do it in private. When I need to leave this world, I’d rather do it alone. When I spend my last few hours on earth, I’d rather not be bothered by other people.

I’d rather die on my own terms. I’d rather die in a dirty bed in a cheap motel room than be watched by a bunch of sneering do-gooders. In those last moments, when I am vomiting all over myself, I don’t need any onlookers. In those final minutes, when my bladder empties, I really don’t require any witnesses. In those final seconds, when I lose control of my bowels, I don’t want any spectators.

I’d rather not have bystanders when I die. I don’t need any sullen health-care workers to harass me with catheters and harry me with blood tests. Death is going to be difficult enough without having a bunch of bored family members amusing themselves by watching my discomfort.

So even though my death will be some years in the future, I don’t need any acquaintances to clear their calendars. So even though my demise will be some time yet to come, I won’t need you to come-by to mop up the mess. When I succumb, I don’t want you around.

A man who can arrange to die alone has lived a full life.

8 comments:

  1. Intolerant of another's gaze as I am, I shared this sentiment in the Native-American stereotype version, before I grew too fearful of complete helplessness in the preceding agony. But I still wouldn't want the perverse addition of spectators.

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  2. Have you given up your .357 Magnum Retirement Plan, Mr. Mean?

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    1. The .357 retirement program stills seems the most viable exit procedure (although it certainly wouldn’t hurt [!] to double-down with a simultaneous overdose as a back-up). This blog post, however, is just a restatement of my core themes of isolation & loneliness.

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  3. An apt clip from one of my favourite misanthropic movies:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIGKMhFuhCg

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    1. An oddly compelling adaptation of “The Death of Ivan Ilyich.”

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  4. ....without an audience nothing is real. So then, if we die with nobody "present" (if such a thing is possible)....

    Then our death is not real.... Then we never really die.... If we die without an audience (....so, we escape death?!) Do we never really die..... What a pleasant "trapdoor" we have built ourselves.... We will put on a play, on a stage, with costumes and makeup....

    A make-believe, like children, we dance in the charnel house....

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    Replies
    1. If we do not die (abjectly), then we have not lived (authentically).

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  5. "Shut up and let me die in peace."
    ... Mike Ehrmantraut, Breaking Bad

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