Wednesday, November 23, 2016

GLOBAL WARMING IS A GOOD THING

by Mr. Mean-Spirited



Global warming would be a great thing – if only it were real. Human extinction would be wonderful – if only it would occur soon. Environmental collapse is what mankind truly deserves.

Even if global warming is a hoax, we need to make it happen. Even if the planet is not heating-up, then we need to do our damnedest to bring about an environmental apocalypse.

Don’t think of our unavoidable global annihilation as a tragedy, but as an opportunity. Logically, if the world is going to end, then it makes no difference whether human beings are cruel or kind to each other. However, being personally ruinous allows you to settle scores before mankind dies out in this inevitable environmental apocalypse. Better to die smug than to die a sissy.

You aren’t going to live forever, sweetheart. If human life becomes impossible a decade after your death, it makes no difference to you. However, you can still get plenty of enjoyment by making all the environmentalists feel uncomfortable right here and now. Even if all the forests are not completely logged in your lifetime, you can still have plenty of entertainment by getting the tree-huggers all worked-up in this day and age. You can always amuse yourself by provoking the do-gooders – like shoving a stick into an anthill.

Don’t get me wrong, the environment is already fucked. Nothing can be done to make the world better. I’ve already suffered once because the earlier generation didn’t give a shit about me and polluted the entire planet. Now I am expected to give up the few comforts I have left in order that some future progeny might have it better; fuck no – that would make it so that I suffer twice. Do you take me for some frigging masochist? I owe posterity exactly what my ancestors did for me: not a goddamn thing. I want my (metaphorical) offspring to experience just as much discomfort as I have endured. Consider global warming my revenge against the future. Those pampered assholes deserve it.

And if you and your repulsive kids actually drown when sea levels rise, so much the better. If you and your repellent family starve when crops won’t grow, that is an added benefit. If you and your revolting offspring die of heat exhaustion, that is an extra blessing. If you and your repugnant toddlers perish from some new tropical disease, that is an unexpected boon.

So what if cancerous lesions from sun exposure should increase, no skin of my back. So what if the world runs out of food, something had to be done about obesity rates anyway.

Let’s get this extermination over with. What difference does it make if the earth becomes uninhabitable for your grandchildren or great-great-great-grandchildren? Either way, it’s going to end. Might as well put a halt to things right now. Let’s stop all this procrastination, and finally get the human species eradicated once and for all.

You might as well fire-up that burn barrel in your backyard – and just let that rubbish smolder. You might as well purge that old Freon from your air conditioner – and buy more fluorocarbons on the black market. You’ve surely heard that eating beef will cause the rain forests to be consumed by expanding cattle ranches – so barbecued steaks ought to be a nightly meal. You might as well warm up that luxury car of yours in the morning – and just let that motor idle. You are doing the planet a favor.

Global warming ought to fill you with a sense of personal satisfaction. By allowing your muffler to pump out as much exhaust as possible – you, too, can change the planet. This is the way the world ends – not with a bang, but with a wisp of smoke.

18 comments:

  1. I look forward to your nex few posts, "Why saying bad words is actually good" and "Why refusing to clean my room is actually extremely adult"

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    1. I look forward to your next comment, "Why Judeo/Christian ethics are great, even if you're an Atheist!"

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    2. Our distinguished host certainly seems to be anguished about the decline of Christianity in western society...

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    3. Mind you just a few days ago he was celebrating an averted doom, and now he's praying for doom. He's a very confused teen.

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    4. Vast difference: I was celebrating MY OWN averted doom, and now I am calling for YOUR destruction. Quite a different thing indeed. If I pray for vengeance upon my enemies, it does not mean that I also want to become a victim.

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  2. I've been saying this for years. I stopped recycling a long time ago, what's the point? Humans have become the most lamentable species, ever to be spit from the bowels of the earth. I look forward to their demise.

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  3. I prefer the term climate change. Something seems to be changing. Here in Shit Hole Alabama, we are in a record drought.

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  4. Get out of my head!

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  5. Global warming is not a good thing. It is just a thing. We humans are like other animals. We are just Nature, i mean, we are completely driven by The Unconscious, and we cant't do anything to avoid our fate.
    Like some species of turtles that "commit suicide" by jumping off a cliff, in order to regulate their population, we do the same, by killing ourselves in our own special way.
    Now, nobody can say that the turtles made the decision to jump. The turtles can't help it. The same goes for us.
    Why does Nature want to kill us? Beause she made a mistake by creating us.

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    1. Nobody, especially not grafted devils, can mind their own business because they have no business of their own to mind, any more than a smallpox virus does

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    2. I had to look it up, but "Grafted Devils" comes from an idea espoused by the Nation of Islam; as far as I can determine, such White Devils (like me) were created through a process of selective breeding devised by the Black Scientist Yakub.

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    3. Unlike the virus, we know that we are fucked. Our intellect, our consciousness can not defeat our basic nature, but it helps us to realize that we are fucked.
      See the Universal History. It is a fucking mess, but at least we can realize that it is a fucking mess.

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    4. It's one of the few religious doctrines that are empirically verifiable

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  6. My thesis is there is climate change, not due to humans, and it is a mini ice age is coming. We need to do all we can to moderate the effects. We need more factories spewing out fumes that will heat the earth, not cool it. I'm doing my part daily, are you?

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  7. A guy called Mc Pherson says that we are done. So...that's it. But, unlike Mr. Mean Spirited, he says that the best we can do in our last years on Earth, is to be kind.

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  8. If you want to explain an alien why the mankind should be exterminated, just show him which youtube videos have the most views.

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  9. I wish when I left, it would leave a fallout for everyone to suffer in...

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  10. I wan to know Why <a href="https://global4life.net/> Globel warming </a>goes Increase day by day main problem?

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