by Mr. Mean-Spirited
There are few things on this planet more unpleasant than a party. There is nothing more disagreeable in life than having to enjoy yourself in public. There is nothing more horrible than having group fun. There is nothing more embarrassing than getting joyful in front of other people.
Consider a party as a sort of cultural re-education camp. Brainwashing is always more efficient when it is disguised as leisure time. Indoctrination is more easily accomplished through recreational activities, than in any other area of societal interaction. Mind control is something that happens when the subject has a smile on his face.
There is a reason why people call what you do at a party “socializing”. The last thing that a genuine individualist will ever allow is for the life-of-the-party to come over and try to mingle.
A party is an environment where everyone demonstrates that they are cheerfully and correctly acculturated. The purpose of a party is not to have a good time, but to perform appropriate sentiments. You don’t just say something to a person of the opposite sex, you yell some platitude across the room; you don’t just chuckle at a witty joke, but you laugh as loudly as possible to everything. A social gathering is just an occasion for conspicuous displays of enjoyment.
When it comes to a party, you don’t want any part of it. There is nothing at a party that is going to do you any good.
Sure, there is music – but everyone is talking all at once, so you can’t really hear anything (even if that were what you wanted). The stereo speakers are blasting at high volume simply because there is supposed to be music at such occasions. There is a song in the background because everyone expects to have music going for things to get social.
Sure, there is liquor – but you will only find a haphazard accumulation of bottles, so you won’t be able to get a proper cocktail (even if you craved as much). Only the nastiest booze turns up at a “mixer”. Never assume that there will be anything worth drinking at a social gathering.
Sure, there are snacks – but you don’t go to a party expecting to find anything worth eating (even if you so desired). The chow has been sitting around so long that the bread is stale and the cheese has crusted over. By the time you work up enough courage to risk the possibility of food poisoning, you might not even notice all the cigarette butts that have already been extinguished in the clam dip. Hors d’oeuvres are something you do at your own risk.
Sure, there are possible new friends – but there are far too many guests crammed into far too small a room for you to have a decent conversation with anyone (should you be so inclined). Even if the goer were chatting with Jesus Christ, the guest would still be looking over the Son of God’s shoulder for someone else more interesting.
Sure, there are females willing to hookup – but no beautiful woman will ever want to go home with you (even if that were what you fancied). Believe me, any cute girl is looking for someone a hell of a lot more attractive than you are, pal. With plenty of better choices in the opposite sex at a “successful” party, no lady is going to be the least bit interested in you.
What I hate most about parties is that they are always crowded with people like you.