by Mr. Mean-Spirited
I hate noise.
I just read about an “ailment” that I just realized I have: misophonia – a hatred of sound. Perhaps the most repellant thing about humanity is the noise they make. Perhaps the most repugnant thing about mankind is their hideous chatter. Perhaps the most revolting thing about human beings is the commotion they inflict upon your ears.
Spend enough time around people and you will end up with a hatred of noise too. You can’t very well hear the squeak and squawk of another person without ending up with a migraine.
Hear some kid screaming outside, and you will want to scream yourself. Ever notice how baby talk always lowers the intelligence of everyone in the vicinity? What is truly distressing is that the general public assumes a yelling child to be normal. It is not actually the misophonia that is the real disorder – what is truly disturbed is that society seems willing to tolerate this incessant background noise.
Give an ear to somebody laughing nearby, and you can’t help but feel sick to your stomach. The less sincere the guffaw, the louder and longer it goes on. Ever notice how a laugh is a weird cross between a bark of a dog and a squeal of a pig?
Listen to the latest tune, and you will come to loathe all music. You can’t subject yourself to another song without wanting to strangle the singer. Ever notice how the louder the volume, the less intelligent the person?
Overhear someone eating and you won’t have any appetite again. Ever notice how the most repulsive sounds a human being makes are when objects exit and enter their bodies? Slurping soup and expelling diarrhea make exactly the same noise. Have you heard the commotion a senior citizen makes when masticating corn on the cob? At least a starving man has the good manners to keep silent.
If only human beings would just shut the fuck up.