MISOPEDIA, HATRED OF CHILDREN

by Mr. Mean-Spirited



I’ve always hated children – but for many years, I actually thought I was the only person who ever felt that way. I never realized that the word misopedia existed to describe this very feeling; now I am simply content to portray myself as a committed misopedist, since I never could stand to be around kids. I don’t just find children a nuisance, I despise them. I don’t just find children an annoyance, I detest them. I don’t just find kids an inconvenience, I loathe them. I don’t want to be touched by their slimy fingers; I don’t want to hear their screeching; I don’t even want to see their misshapen limbs.

A prudent man shrinks from the possibility of fatherhood the way his penis shrivels at the sight of a pregnant woman’s belly.

I hate children for destroying a woman’s looks. Take a beautiful woman and make her pregnant - the next time you see her, you won’t recognize the lady behind the stretch marks and blubber. Take a nice set of breasts, and have the wench start lactating, and all that will remain of her boobs are sag and stretch marks. After a dame’s nipple has been sucked by some kid, you won’t be in any hurry to put the tit in your mouth.

I hate children for reducing a parent’s intelligence. Once a woman and has excreted a child, the only thing she will now be blathering about is her brat’s diarrhea; instead of being able to hold her own in a discussion of politics and religion, the new mother will be blithering about how many diapers she goes through in a day. After a well-spoken woman has spent a month caring for an infant, the mother’s IQ will drop at least a dozen points.  

I hate children for ruining lives. An individual could have made his life into a wild and wonderful creation; instead, do-gooders now will tell the gentleman that needs to put his children first. A father just discards some biological residue in a woman’s orifice - yet, after being forced to give up half his income, he will come to regret that discharge every day for the next couple decades. Babies are a sexually transmitted disease that will take 18 years to cure. No, children are not innocent, not in the least; children annihilate the very independence of a parent. Surely raising another yet urchin is not the most important thing - but accepting the role of a parent is the most idiotic way that an adult could waste his remaining years.

I hate children for being dependent. Always needing something, always wanting something more. An infant looks at a parent not with love or hate, but with pure emptiness – the same emotional vacancy that the mother wants to fill by having a kid in the first place. A baby is like a sinkhole: a screeching, shrieking pit that can never be filled – or never shut-up no matter how much a parent might sacrifice.  

I hate children for wasting resources. Over the next two decades, raising a child will cost you the equivalent of purchasing a new house. But becoming a parent will waste money that you could have spent on something important – like yourself. Far better to invest in a box of condoms and buy enough insurance in order to spend the next two decades indulging yourself. For God’s sake, a can of baby formula costs just about as much as a bottle of gin.

I hate children for dumbing down life. Mass culture wants everything in life to be family friendly, so any ideas of daring and depth are cast aside to make things accessible to everyone. The ruling elite actively discourage any discussion of the truly sinister nature of existence because, well, that might frighten the “little ones.” Instead, the establishment media continually subjects all consumers to programming that is insipidly inspirational because “children might be watching.”

I hate children for giving an excuse for government repression. Whenever some legislator comes up with some new law designed to take away your remaining freedoms, those new restrictions are always decreed “to protect the children.” Whenever government wants to tell you what to do, those regulations are always enacted to “safeguard kids.” Well, I would rather keep the liberty and not bother with the kids. If a nuclear family truly requites totalitarian legislation to protect its existence, then you are much better-off childfree.

I hate children for being such repulsive creatures. Smeary with snot and squishy with shit, leaking piss and dripping saliva, babies smell like a cross between dirty laundry and rancid meat. A man who does not hate children has never heard a brat scream for a solid hour.

Sometimes the best thing to do is just to abandon the infant in a cart in the middle of the nearest Wal-mart. Trust me, no one will ever notice.