I will not raise your spirits. I am not about to inspire you. I am not here to praise you. I do not propose to motivate you. I have no intention of making you feel better about yourself. My dear reader, I have no interest in leaving you with any good feelings whatsoever.
Just because you read my blog, I am not going to make a friend out of you. I am not about to hold your hand; I won’t pat you on the back, and you’re certainly not going to get a hug out of me.
I am not going to sugar-coat things. I am not going to tell you white lies. I am not going to whisper sweet nothings.
I only promise to show you things as they truly are. And then I am going to smear your face in it. I swear to rub the misery of life across your eyeballs.
You won’t be feeling any warm glow after you have read these postings. But you will know how things really stand. At a point in history when humanitarians will tell you anything just to make you feel better, I swear to reveal the awful truth, no matter how much you might suffer.
You see, I’ll be the one to divulge what everyone else is keeping from you. The well-adjusted members of society do not have the guts to let you know how it is, but I’m going to give it to you straight: no one is ever going to love you. I will say that again: you will never be loved. You are never going to be adored by anyone. Your kind is not exactly irresistible. There is not a soul on earth that will ever be devoted to a creature like you. I’m merely admitting what everyone else mutters under the breath.
Don’t trust me, go look at yourself in the mirror. Can you honestly think anyone could love the likes of you? Look at those blemishes on your face – do you really believe anyone could love that?
Do you really imagine that no one was watching what you did when you pulled that morsel of snot from your nose this morning? Do you really assume that no one has seen those shit stains on your underwear? Do you really suppose that no one observed what you did when you masturbated the other night?
Don’t you realize that your body odor is a bit pungent? Hasn’t anyone ever told you that they can smell you coming? Just take a whiff, if you still have any doubts.
You need to understand that you make some really pathetic noises when you sleep.
And you really think that no one knows what you’ve done? You know what you did that day – and everyone else can see it in your face as well. Frankly, you turn the stomach of the opposite sex as much as you nauseate yourself: deep down, you disgust yourself – and for good reason.
There are some human beings who are so repulsive that everyone else can see it in one glance – and that one glimpse reveals just how hideous you really are. There is a reason why people look at you like that. There is a reason why people whisper when you come around. There is a reason why bus passengers scoot over when you sit next to them. There is a reason why a cashier doesn’t want to touch your hand when returning your change. There is a reason why your friend didn’t invite you to their last party.
Sure, from time to time, so do-gooder might sniff-out how desperately you want to be loved – and tell you what you want to hear. But they will repeat how special you are only when they want to get something out of you. And a hopeless chump like you will fall for it. But once a humanitarian has extracted everything that they can from you, the will cast you aside like a piece of soiled toilet paper.
Surely you must have suspected something. You must have questioned whether people were keeping something from you. Surely you must have wondered why all the people who were supposedly the closest to you would always hint and hit you up for something. Other humans can only stomach your presence when they have something of yours in their pocket.
Only a hopeless dupe believes it when a woman tells him that she loves him. Only a worthless slut believes a man when he tells her that she is special. A human who trusts other people only gets taken advantage-of by those closest to him.
It is one thing to be unloved, but only a pathetic dupe like you would be so needy that you are actually deceived by someone claiming to adore you. ‘Tis better to have never loved at all, than to be deceived by someone pretending to care about you. Better to accept that you will always be alone than to endure the inevitably of deception.
Now go look in that mirror and see if I am not right.