IT'S THE WAY YOU CHEW

by Mr. Mean-Spirited

If you don't yet despise your fellow man, just observe someone eating. If you don't yet loathe the human species, take a look at that speck of food beneath his lip. If you want to hate the entire human race, just watch another person eat an ear of corn. No one will ever again call himself a humanitarian after watching the people fill their plates in a Las Vegas buffet. Once you've listened to the noise that a senior citizen makes when he finishes a bowl of soup, you won't ever want to hear anything else that comes out of the mouth. No one can remain an idealist after being forced to witness an old man consume pudding.