by Mr. Mean-Spirited
Think of heaven as a sort of gold mine high up in the mountains, a cloud-covered motherlode that promises unimaginable riches. But if you actually knew how to reach these heavenly treasures, you certainly aren’t ever going to tell anyone else how to find the hidden wealth. And, just like your mining claim, you would actively and aggressively mislead anyone trying to approach the fortunes of this lost paradise.
Church leaders are just like a placer miner – whatever they say is specially crafted to mislead the listener. Churches are designed not to get you into heaven, but to so misguide you that you would never be able to attain the celestial riches. Every believer that the pastors manage to delude means all the more heaven for the church officials themselves. Whatever a priest tells you is not only a damn lie, but a falsehood deliberately crafted to lead you astray.
Ministers are not trying to save you, but to reduce the competition. Grizzled priests are not there to bring rivals to heaven, but to keep the place to themselves.
The Bible states quite decisively that only a fixed number of souls are going to be allowed into heaven. The Book of Revelation affirms that only 144,000 are going to push through the Pearly Gates. The afterlife has a strict occupancy limit, and an ordinary supplicant like you will never be allowed to become one of the lucky ones – your bishop will make damn certain of that.
A good reverend quickly comes to realize that every person who gets into heaven before him means that the churchman is that much more unlikely to be able to squeeze his way into paradise. A cleric must treat each new believer as a kind of claimjumper that is stealing his birthright. The larger the denomination, the more persuasive the misdirection.
Following religious commandments is simply devised to cause you to lose your bearings – you will never be able to find anything until you begin to trespass. A conformist is always the first to get disoriented in the desert. The only moral compass you’re going to need is your own desire.
Trust no one else’s directions and you will never get lost. If all the holy men are pointing one way, turn around and take the opposite route.
Church leaders are just like a placer miner – whatever they say is specially crafted to mislead the listener. Churches are designed not to get you into heaven, but to so misguide you that you would never be able to attain the celestial riches. Every believer that the pastors manage to delude means all the more heaven for the church officials themselves. Whatever a priest tells you is not only a damn lie, but a falsehood deliberately crafted to lead you astray.
Ministers are not trying to save you, but to reduce the competition. Grizzled priests are not there to bring rivals to heaven, but to keep the place to themselves.
The Bible states quite decisively that only a fixed number of souls are going to be allowed into heaven. The Book of Revelation affirms that only 144,000 are going to push through the Pearly Gates. The afterlife has a strict occupancy limit, and an ordinary supplicant like you will never be allowed to become one of the lucky ones – your bishop will make damn certain of that.
A good reverend quickly comes to realize that every person who gets into heaven before him means that the churchman is that much more unlikely to be able to squeeze his way into paradise. A cleric must treat each new believer as a kind of claimjumper that is stealing his birthright. The larger the denomination, the more persuasive the misdirection.
Following religious commandments is simply devised to cause you to lose your bearings – you will never be able to find anything until you begin to trespass. A conformist is always the first to get disoriented in the desert. The only moral compass you’re going to need is your own desire.
Trust no one else’s directions and you will never get lost. If all the holy men are pointing one way, turn around and take the opposite route.
What's your own religious position, MMM? Atheist? Gnostic? Hardline Puritan of Lutheran and Calvinistic tendencies?
ReplyDeleteIn spite of the rather gnostic slant to this post, the author is inclined toward a debauched Puritanism. There is something truly misanthropic at the core of Protestantism.
DeleteNot misotheist? So, you'll trash every last one of us who never brought you into existence, or did bugger all else to you, but some head honcho in the sky who made every last second of your misery part of his grand design, a pass? otay then...
DeleteRight on.
ReplyDeleteAh, there it is in your about me... Misotheism. Well, at least you've included your real tormentor... Besides those who left you stranded here...
ReplyDelete