by Mr. Mean-Spirited
At the moment of death, you must resist the temptation to move toward the light. As your life exits the body, don't go toward the bright—the shine is only coming from the watchtower. Beyond the pearly gates are razor wire and guard dogs. The only thing that someone like you can expect in the next world is a slaughterhouse. After you take your last breath, you will truly come to know just “how dreadful is this place.”
No matter how much you might have suffered here on earth, eternal life will be worse. Every last person in this world has constantly betrayed you, so you can only expect the deception to continue on the other side of the grave. Why would you believe anything coming from the Evil God when you know that the supreme being is only going to put you down at the end? The Lord is going to double-cross just as much as a butcher with a cattle prod. Any deity is going to deceive you as much as a serial killer with a meat saw. A Holy Guardian Angel is only there to cut you down to size.
A hunter will tell you that meat is more flavorful if the animal is made to run before it is dispatched: something about hormones that are released in muscle tissue. In just this fashion, the Malicious God wants you to suffer before your soul is extracted. Like an axe murderer collecting severed fingers in a cigar box, the Malevolent God wants to keep your soul in a Mason jar in the afterlife.
I don’t know the exact geography of the afterlife, but the white light lies in the opposite direction from paradise. The Heaven I am promised is not illuminated by spotlights. Nothing good ever comes from searchlights being pointed at your eyes.
After you give up your body, everyone goes into the light. If you evaded the crowd on this planet, you don’t want to be part of the swarm in the world beyond. You don’t want to be part of the herd, no matter which side of death you happen to be at the moment. If the masses are attracted toward the glow, an individualist will want to remain in the gloom.
You avoid capture so that your individual personality does not become merged and melded and mingled and mangled into the mystical body of the Church. You don’t want your soul added to the cauldron.
Whether in this word or in the Happy Hunting Ground of the afterlife, if you’ve got a gun-mounted light pointed at your torso, then you should probably start running in the opposite direction. If you’ve got a tactical light aimed at your head, then you really ought to be getting the hell out of there.
The hereafter is just a kind of meat-packing plant in the sky. The next world is a sort of death camp where the Wicked God harvests organs and steals souls. You have a better chance of surviving as a distinct personality if you keep to the shadows. You might just be able to persist as a unique psyche if you always keep to the darkness. If you get caught in the searchlight, you will only be dragged into the stockyard of souls. Even though the Holy Ghost will hunt you down like a bloodhound, the only way you will get through the spirit world is to act like an escaped convict on the run. You can outwit the search parties if you remain in the twilight.
Don't go toward the light and you will be alright. Stay in the obscure and you will endure: remain in the overcast and you will outlast.
by Mr. Mean-Spirited
I got this idea. What I am thinking goes against everything we have been taught about the modern world. I am proposing something that goes against the very idea of progress.
In contrast to what the authorities would like you to believe about the modern world, I am saying that human potential is not infinite. In spite of what you’ve been told, mankind has just about reached the maximum extent of its ability. Humanity has just about reached the limits of science. Human innovation has come to an end. Centuries of human advancement are over.
There are some truths that human beings will never know. There are mathematical problems that will never be solved. There are other planets that human beings will never see. There is suffering that will never be relieved.
Hollywood would like you to believe that human beings of the future will be exploring distant galaxies. I am sorry to tell you that human beings are not going to be leaving this solar system ever. Interstellar travel will never happen. We are never going to be living in harmony with alien beings. Star Trek has been cancelled. No matter how many computer simulations, the human race will never figure out how to finance these intergalactic journeys. The human animal will go extinct on the same planet where it all began. Humanity can reach for the stars as often as it can, but it will only touch that other world when the Sun becomes a red giant billions of years in the future.
The mass media would like you to think that human beings will be making ever more advanced scientific discoveries until the end of time. I got news for you, the human species has already made every important discovery that it can possibly make. There are problems of physics that will never be solved. There will be no more breakthroughs. We have already picked all the low-hanging fruit of quantum mechanics; there is nothing else in sub-atomics that humanity can intellectually grasp.
The charity racket wants you to feel that there will soon be a cure for every disease. I’m going to set you straight: there will always be plenty of illnesses that the human race will never eradicate. Human beings will always suffer the same afflictions as they did in prehistoric times. Just as throughout all of history, more people will die from medical care than might ever be saved by professed healers.
The arty crowd wants you to think that they are being innovative. In reality, visual artists have already painted everything of note. No contemporary author will ever complete any further great novels. All classic music has already been written. It doesn’t matter how many films a director might possibly remake, there won’t be any more ground-breaking movies in the future. There is no longer anything original that can possibly be created. Every story has already been told.
Think of it like this. We have explored all of this earth that we can explore. Every mountain peak has already been climbed. Every sea has been sailed. Every animal species has been cataloged. It is like that for every aspect of the human condition – everything that can be done has been done. The Age of Discovery ended long ago. Sure, there are minor details that might still be added to the sum total of human knowledge, but everything significant has already been determined. Ever more trivial points of minutia are all that is left for future generations to discover. Modern scientists are merely adding footnotes to earlier theories. There is a reason why contemporary academic journals only publish drivel.
Don’t get me wrong, there is much about the natural world that humanity does not understand, but those laws will never be understood. There are many rules of physics that haven’t been discovered, but they will never be discovered. And there is much of modern science that is just flat-out wrong, but those theories will always remain wrong. It is not that those scientific principles are particularly majestic, just that the human mind is far more limited than we would like to believe. Mankind is simply not as smart as we have been told. There is much that humanity won’t ever be intelligent enough to understand. There are still multiple mysteries in this existence, but comprehension is far beyond human ability.
There are some problems that are just too difficult. The Unified Field Theory was simply too hard for Einstein to figure out; modern professors will certainly not find the solution any easier. Some things are ultimately beyond human ability. Human aptitude can only go so far – and mankind has just about reached its limit.
Humanity simply ought to cut its losses. Since the human race will not ever manage to figure out the principles of the universe, the most logical thing is not to bother in the first place. All the scientific experimentation in the world simply isn’t worth the effort. If there is no place left to discover, you might as well stay home.
Science is finished. The future is over. Been there, done that.
by Mr. Mean-Spirited
Violence is the only possible answer. Like a game of “Jeopardy”, you can make up any possible question – and violence will always be the correct solution.
When two nations come into conflict, war is the only act that will settle things. When two men come into contact, a fistfight is the only activity that is going to clarify things. Aggression is always an accurate response to any predicament.
Violence obviously solved the problem of Imperial Japan once and for all. When you are subjected to a personal Pearl Harbor of your own, dry conversation and dreary compassion are never going to yield anything useful. You don’t need to appreciate your opposition; you need to attack them.
Fighting solves problems. If you want to resolve any part of life, you need to do it with bloodshed. Consequently, you need to bring brutality into every other part of existence. Any damn thing in this world – or the next – can be put right with violence. A little cruelty will clear everything up.
Religion is one of those things that can only be improved if it were to have an element of violence. The Lord is going to kill you off when he gets bored with you, so you attitude should be equally destructive toward all the other humans screwing around in God’s kingdom. The Almighty is going to take your life when he gets tired of your presence, so you might as well be equally vicious toward all the other beings fucking around in God’s creation. Sometimes the most effective way of praying is with clenched fists.
There is only a thin line between affection and anger. When it is all said and done, love is only going to hurt you, so you really ought to be heartless in your romance. When your soulmate misbehaves, you need to be merciless. After all, if cruelty works wonders in one aspect of creation, chances are that it will succeed in every other area as well.
Aggression is the only admirable way of finding a solution. Peace is invariably without purpose, but wars are always fought over principles. Hostility is the external expression of an inner honor.
Tranquility is the most tiresome mode of living. Mercy is always a profoundly dishonest mode of surviving. Only violence restores the vitality and virility that you deserve. Humanity needs to return to a saving viciousness in all social interactions.
What the world needs now is loathing, sweet loathing. What humanity could use is more brutality; we have already endured enough brotherhood. A little carnage might do wonders.
Let us struggle to attain a moment of honest ruthlessness.
by Mr. Mean-Spirited
When the Native Americans were first hassled and harassed by Anglos brandishing cameras, the tribes are said to have resisted having their pictures taken, claiming that the photos steal the soul. Now that we are living in an age when every shithead wants to take a selfie with his own cell phone – well, it turns out that the Indians were right after all. Photos do, indeed, steal your soul.
A man of dignity avoids being photographed. A man of character does not strike poses in front of a camera lens. A man of honor is not in a hurry to take a snapshot on every frigging occasion. The picture robs your very spirit – it exits right out your big idiotic, shit-eating grin.
