I’D RATHER DIE ALONE

by Mr. Mean-Spirited

 

Death should be a solitary thing. Dying should always be a lonely experience.

I have never understood why the mass media wants everyone to have this fear of dying alone. When the time comes for me, I don’t want to spend my last days being serviced by the medical industry.

When I am ready to take my last breath, I’d rather do it in private. When I need to leave this world, I’d rather do it alone. When I spend my last few hours on earth, I’d rather not be bothered by other people.

I’d rather die on my own terms. I’d rather die in a dirty bed in a cheap motel room than be watched by a bunch of sneering do-gooders. In those last moments, when I am vomiting all over myself, I don’t need any onlookers. In those final minutes, when my bladder empties, I really don’t require any witnesses. In those final seconds, when I lose control of my bowels, I don’t want any spectators.

I’d rather not have bystanders when I die. I don’t need any sullen health-care workers to harass me with catheters and harry me with blood tests. Death is going to be difficult enough without having a bunch of bored family members amusing themselves by watching my discomfort.

So even though my death will be some years in the future, I don’t need any acquaintances to clear their calendars. So even though my demise will be some time yet to come, I won’t need you to come-by to mop up the mess. When I succumb, I don’t want you around.

A man who can arrange to die alone has lived a full life.