ANOTHER PERSON’S HAPPINESS IS A NAUSEATING THING

by Mr. Mean-Spirited



Even properly sedated, other humans are irritating enough – but their cheerfulness is absolutely infuriating. Surely there is nothing more annoying than other people enjoying themselves. There is nothing more aggravating than the happiness of someone else. There is nothing more exasperating than the laughter of others.

The trouble with merriment is that they just want to spread it all over you. When those beings smile wide enough to expose their gums, it is not their joy that is contagious, but their gingivitis. You don’t want to be around if their exuberance should start to bubble up. When their glee spills over, you better hope that it is not catching. You aren’t going to be wanting their “good on you”.

When someone approaches you with a smile, you better step back if you don’t want to come down with something. There is a reason that they call happiness infectious – because it makes you sick.