Consider a party as a sort of cultural re-education camp. Brainwashing is always more efficient when it is disguised as leisure time. Indoctrination is more easily accomplished through recreational activities, than in any other area of societal interaction. Mind control is something that happens when the subject has a smile on his face.
There is a reason why people call what you do at a party “socializing”. The last thing that a genuine individualist will ever allow is for the life-of-the-party to come over and try to mingle.
A party is an environment where everyone demonstrates that they are cheerfully and correctly acculturated. The purpose of a party is not to have a good time, but to perform appropriate sentiments. You don’t just say something to a person of the opposite sex, you yell some platitude across the room; you don’t just chuckle at a witty joke, but you laugh as loudly as possible to everything. A social gathering is just an occasion for conspicuous displays of enjoyment.
When it comes to a party, you don’t want any part of it. There is nothing at a party that is going to do you any good.
Sure, there is music – but everyone is talking all at once, so you can’t really hear anything (even if that were what you wanted). The stereo speakers are blasting at high volume simply because there is supposed to be music at such occasions. There is a song in the background because everyone expects to have music going for things to get social.
Sure, there is liquor – but you will only find a haphazard accumulation of bottles, so you won’t be able to get a proper cocktail (even if you craved as much). Only the nastiest booze turns up at a “mixer”. Never assume that there will be anything worth drinking at a social gathering.
Sure, there are snacks – but you don’t go to a party expecting to find anything worth eating (even if you so desired). The chow has been sitting around so long that the bread is stale and the cheese has crusted over. By the time you work up enough courage to risk the possibility of food poisoning, you might not even notice all the cigarette butts that have already been extinguished in the clam dip. Hors d’oeuvres are something you do at your own risk.
Sure, there are possible new friends – but there are far too many guests crammed into far too small a room for you to have a decent conversation with anyone (should you be so inclined). Even if the goer were chatting with Jesus Christ, the guest would still be looking over the Son of God’s shoulder for someone else more interesting.
Sure, there are females willing to hookup – but no beautiful woman will ever want to go home with you (even if that were what you fancied). Believe me, any cute girl is looking for someone a hell of a lot more attractive than you are, pal. With plenty of better choices in the opposite sex at a “successful” party, no lady is going to be the least bit interested in you.
What I hate most about parties is that they are always crowded with people like you.
I hear you, Mr Mean Spirited, but, seeing as most of us here are misanthropic gits, I see parties as a great excuse to wreck havoc.
ReplyDeleteSome random ideas: spread rumours about the other guests, add some laxatives to the punchbowl, maybe release some cockroaches on the dance floor, release noxious fumes via a fart spray, etc. Use it as a means to generate misery, and to enjoy the ensuing chaos.
Being a paranoid observer of societal behavior, I would worry that other people might be playing such tricks upon me.
DeleteMr. Mean, your last sentence spoiled the post. I can assure you, sir, you will not find ANY party crowded with people like me. In fact, you'd be hard pressed to find a single soul like me. Most Meyers-Brigg ISTJ personality types are far from being party people. Just for starters.
ReplyDeleteHe was trying to be mean. Hehe. Cute mr mean. Isnt he adorable?
DeleteNice one MMS. I concur. Yeesh. A party. No thanks
ReplyDeleteHow long can you keep these posts coming I wonder? How about a post about having to get along with people in the workplace and enduring people that laugh a lot and insist on being upbeat. God they suck. Tell me to fuck off if you like. You are supposed to be mean.
ReplyDeleteI adopted the name “Mean-Spirited” after acquaintances kept calling me that merely for being honest with them. In reality, I am no more unkind than a doctor informing a terminal patient that he only has a couple months to live (not that I claim any particular expertise) – but when a person tells it like it is, society says that sort of speech is heartless. In person, I am just an ordinary bastard that wears plaid shirts and eats chicken pot pies and warns that you have only a few weeks left.
DeleteHahaha. Youre a funny guy. Love your work
DeleteThe last line made the post; sometimes I forget you hate your readers too
ReplyDeleteThat picture fills me with horror. haha. I love this blog
ReplyDeleteI'm already dreading the extended family Christmas dinner I'm pretty much obliged to attend. I guess that is a party in the general sense. Anyone else here hate those things?
ReplyDeleteYes I do. It is the way you are trapped there that gets to me
ReplyDeleteSeñor Mean,
ReplyDeleteNice post. but I would not want you to be my doctor informing me of a terminal illness. Raul
Is that Raul from Paraguay?
DeleteWow, let me say that Mr. Mean-Spirited has a great sense of humor ... something I wouldn't mind developing in myself ... if I could just be more mean! Reading this blog is like reading a Celine novel. I especially liked the post about the Lone Wolf, but, to be honest, I found myself almost frightened to reply. I don't want to end up on some Watch List. YIKES!
By the way, I only stumbled upon this blog because I found Mr. Mean-Spirited replies at Karl's SAY NO TO LIFE struck me ... "The gregarious leader will always want to govern by consensus, and a lonely dissenter often tends to demoralize the elite by his very presence."
Thanks for making that list of citizens with naughty internet habits.
DeleteI have always thought about parties as a subtle mechanism for establishing and maintaining social hierarchy. The point of a party is to show who the boss is. It starts with small things such as who is invited and who is not, who controls invitations, dress code, topics of conversations, who chooses what kind of music is played and what kind of food is served etc. Individuals either comply or they are ejected from a clique. By complying with subtle party rules, an individual signals to a host and the wider audience complete obedience and submission.
ReplyDeleteNever better said, Anon. The "Greek" system on colleges in the US have honed this into a fine art.
DeleteMms. This is to do with your earlier posts on how a harlet is the way to go to get your rocks off. I couldnt disagree more. Yes women are a pain in the ass but these sluts have been poked by hundreds of the very bipeds we despise. Its demeaning. Come on man. There's nothing better to fuck a woman who wants to fuck you too. Just saying. But im a pathetic man who believes that sucking a tit and rooting is the best there is. What do you say you mustache twirling rogue?
ReplyDeleteIt is all about the paranoia. I just don’t trust a woman that might “want” to fuck me. I have faith, though, in a lady who is willing to spread her legs for money. I only believe in my tangible cash, not in her supposed sentiments.
DeleteWhen it comes to the female of the species, you cannot be suspicious enough.
Yeah today I agree with that. Got rejected. Sigh. Fuck im so bored with this life
ReplyDelete