I just read about an “ailment” that I just realized I have: misophonia – a hatred of sound. Perhaps the most repellant thing about humanity is the noise they make. Perhaps the most repugnant thing about mankind is their hideous chatter. Perhaps the most revolting thing about human beings is the commotion they inflict upon your ears.
Spend enough time around people and you will end up with a hatred of noise too. You can’t very well hear the squeak and squawk of another person without ending up with a migraine.
Hear some kid screaming outside, and you will want to scream yourself. Ever notice how baby talk always lowers the intelligence of everyone in the vicinity? What is truly distressing is that the general public assumes a yelling child to be normal. It is not actually the misophonia that is the real disorder – what is truly disturbed is that society seems willing to tolerate this incessant background noise.
Give an ear to somebody laughing nearby, and you can’t help but feel sick to your stomach. The less sincere the guffaw, the louder and longer it goes on. Ever notice how a laugh is a weird cross between a bark of a dog and a squeal of a pig?
Listen to the latest tune, and you will come to loathe all music. You can’t subject yourself to another song without wanting to strangle the singer. Ever notice how the louder the volume, the less intelligent the person?
Overhear someone eating and you won’t have any appetite again. Ever notice how the most repulsive sounds a human being makes are when objects exit and enter their bodies? Slurping soup and expelling diarrhea make exactly the same noise. Have you heard the commotion a senior citizen makes when masticating corn on the cob? At least a starving man has the good manners to keep silent.
If only human beings would just shut the fuck up.
I use any white noise machine to block out other shit, including my own thoughts at times. Ear plugs don't work, because I then have to contend with the ringing in my ears from my own damned circulatory system. Bloody hell.
ReplyDeleteI hear you Mr mean Spirited yada yada yada..you have to get away and then whats next..u need company again till it sickens you . Rinse and repeat. Ahhh the human condition..so fucked up
ReplyDeleteRead all your stuff. Tip my hat to your misanthropy. Nice
ReplyDeleteGreat post. One of the worst things about living in London is the fact that one is aurally raped on a daily basis by the innumerable moronic conversations one is subjected to on public transport, cafes, shops etc. Large cities always attract the greatest number of idiots, and yes, I too am one for being there.
ReplyDeleteSchopenhauer wrote a whole essay on "Din and Noise", and how it pissed him off.
ReplyDeleteSchopenhauer did say that “hammering, the barking of dogs, and the screaming of children are abominable” – and things haven’t improved since.
DeleteRight on. Noise is the worst.
ReplyDeleteAnd positivity ugh..just stop being so upbeat already and the ppl who just open a conversation with you then go on and on about themselves the self obsessed bores and the ones who insist on a pecking order and follow someones lead...yada yada
ReplyDeleteI need a beer
ReplyDeleteSorry for the multiple post but I just had to get out of the building where there was a room full of older people singing songs for therapy oh my god I think that has to be some of the worst noise
ReplyDeleteDamn right. The more music that people consume, the more superficial that they become.
DeleteThank you for giving voice to one of my own hatreds as well. If it weren't for people, there would be no noise.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hate footsteps noise coming from behind you especially. You are concentrating on something then clip clop clop clop...esp womens noisy high heels of course. Fuck that. Go barefeet and stfu
ReplyDeleteI've hated chewing sounds all my life. There's a book on the subject: "Sound Rage". Very descriptive and academic. No real empathy, as in your post. My only blessings in this sorrowful life are two: my wife always tries to eat quietly and we don't have children.
ReplyDeleteOnly an individual who suffers from misophonia can truly understand just how painful are the sounds of another person eating.
DeleteSome older bipeds make interesting noises. Old Tom Eden Australia. Google that shit.
ReplyDelete