BLACK FRIDAY IS THE MOST HONEST DAY OF THE YEAR

by Mr. Mean-Spirited

Surely Black Friday has got to be the most enjoyable day of the year.  That first shopping opportunity right after downing the Thanksgiving meal is not only endlessly entertaining, but Black Friday also furnishes some truly engrossing insights into the human soul.  The nature of the species is never on more honest display than when it is pushing a shopping cart.

The best of humanity is never seen in feeding the hungry, but in yanking that last pair designer sneakers off the shelf before another shopper might reach them.  The truest expression of human resilience is not in healing the sick, but in kicking a crippled customer out of the way so that you can reach the latest-model cell phone. You can always find the mankind’s greatest efforts not in being first on the scene to help survivors of a natural disaster, but in getting to a buy-one-get-one-free offer before anyone else.

Human beings will trample each other just to save a couple dollars on some plastic trinket.  Pregnant woman will slap someone else’s kids out of the way just to get the latest shrink-wrapped product.  You can watch grown men starting fist-fights over merchandise that has merely been discounted a couple percentage points.

No shopper will ever let another person get ahead of them – that aggressive purchasing is mankind’s true character.  No consumer will ever share the stuff in his shopping basket with any other Black Friday buyer. A customer will grab an item for no other reason than to keep someone else from getting it.  And the bottom line is that a human being really doesn’t need any of this mass-marketed crap anyway.

If you want to see Homo sapiens in its natural habit, just visit any Wal-Mart right after Thanksgiving.  The law of the jungle while clutching a glossy advertising flyer. Lex talionis with a maxed-out credit card in the wallet. 

If you do not yet hate all mankind, a few hours in a warehouse store around the Holidays would be enough to turn Mother Theresa into a snarling, snapping misanthrope. Black Friday: people behaving like brutes and nasty-ass merchandise … what’s not to love?

HOW TO DESTROY YOUR ENEMIES WITH CURSES

by Mr. Mean-Spirited


Curses are more than magical spells designed to bring some harm to your enemy. Hexes are that, it is true – but, in the grand scheme of things, curses also become something far more powerful. Curses are a secret, sinister way of resetting a world that has gone off kilter. If you think of the cosmos as a sort of celestial grandfather clock, then curses are keys to the firmament.

Cursing your enemy is an attempt to put things right. Curses are an attempt to repair all the ways that you were personally wronged. By making things right for yourself, you restore the harmony of the cosmos. When you curse a personal foe, you rectify the heavenly order. By getting revenge for yourself on the microcosm, you recover the balance of the existence on the macrocosm. Curses are tools of divine redress.

1. Curses do not allow you to forget how you were originally harmed by your enemies. Throwing a curse forces you to come to a realization of the extent of everything that your adversaries are trying to do to you. Crafting a curse necessitates that you to recognize the magnitude of your torment. Curses demand that you come to terms with reality. Working a curse brings you to an awareness of all the ways you have been wronged by those around you. Rather than seeing yourself plagued by bad luck, you recognize a deliberate attack being waged against you.

Curses use a sort of psychic energy to harm a chosen foe. You must dwell upon all the wrongs you have suffered in the past in order to generate that mental energy.

2. Curses affix blame. Curses define agent who caused the problem in the first place.

Curses identify the source of the maladies you have endured. Your curse must precisely identify the recipient. Curses will only work if you have a specific target. 

You must identity the victim of the curse by exact name. You must select one particular focus upon which to work your harm.

3. Curses promise a distinct and distinctive misfortune to your enemy. Curses require specific punishment for your suffering. The more precise the misfortune that you wish upon the recipient, the greater the chance of success. Do not frame a curse with a vague hope like "drop dead"; instead, use as much detail as possible: "drop dead when you trip on the stairs going into your basement and impale yourself through the eye on a rusted reinforcing rod." You want an obscure piece of information about your antagonist that will "worry the victim" like a tongue wiggling a lose tooth – your target’s constant fretting will eventually cause the thing to come out and about.  You want your foe to involuntarily envision the scenario: the rust on the iron rod protruding from the eye socket. 

You must meticulously detail what is to befall your foe.

Curses are all about precision. You must single-out the target and exquisitely detail what is to happen to the bastard. The more you know about your enemy, the better you are able to fabricate a curse.

4. Your curses must promise greater misfortune to your victim than the recipient originally caused you. The hex is like a fulcrum that levers a small slight against you into a massive counterattack upon your foe. The only way that a curse might work is to overwhelm your enemy. Your curses must display a diabolical ingenuity and be inordinately destructive. The more brutal the jinx, the better the probability of success. If you are going to the trouble of cursing someone, you might as well go all out.

You must craft a curse of astonishing cruelty.

Despite what do-gooder Christians would like to imagine, a successful curse never boomerangs upon the maker. It is only when an individual throws a weak, half-hearted curse at a foe does that enemy then fling back a more powerful curse of his own. If you don’t want any boomerang, your curse must promise the utter destruction of your antagonist.

Cures are naturally more effective if your intended victim learns that you are working an act of revenge against him. However, if your hex does not promise grandiose brutality, you risk having your jinx over-powered by your enemy's imprecation of even greater barbarity. For your own self-protection, you must be merciless in your curses. Pity can utterly destroy you. 

5. The actual format of a curse requires verbal repetition. No matter from which folk tradition the spell might originate, curses always include repetitive phrases. It is not the precise wording that is as important as the restatement. Think of the repetition as the windings in a transformer, repeated words amply the voltage of the curse. The verbal reiteration helps to focus your will upon the target.

When designing a curse, you must repeat the way that your foe is to be punished.

6. Curses take time to work their evil. Curses psychologically demoralize the target victim, but that psychic debilitation will take weeks. Hexes devastate surely, but slowly. Curses are like an acid that slowly corrodes the lifestyle of the adversary.

You must be patient when working a curse upon an enemy.

You must, for instance, continually imagine the murder and mutilation of your adversaries. When you can see the dismembered bodies of your foes behind closed eyelids, you will see those very same disfigured limbs when those lids snaps open. Throwing a curse is simply a matter of envisioning that future massacre of your antagonists.

For the curses to prove successful, you must never forget how you were wronged. The power of your next curse requires that you always keep in mind the success of your last hex. Curses improve with practice. Your every wish must be the complete devastation of your enemies.

There are no small, inconsequential slights. Getting cut-off in traffic is not a random act. The limo driver who gives you the finger is not just trying to insult you, but also to disrupt the totality of cosmic order. If you do not curse the bastard who maligns you, then you prevent the celestial equilibrium from being restored. To maintain this sacred balance, hexing your foes must become part of daily life. Cursing your enemies is absolutely necessary to reinstate the harmony of existence. If someone dishonors you, then your curse needs to be automatic and instinctive.

Not to curse your enemies with impending torture is to permit all creation to remain out of balance. Revenge does the heavens a favor.

I'M GOING TO HATE YOU FIRST

by Mr. Mean-Spirited




Nobody ever cared about me in life, so I’m not going to be concerned about you. No one ever helped me in this world, so I’m never going to help you. I’m going to show you as much compassion as all of society gave me – and that is zero. Other people gave me nothing whatsoever, so I’m not offering anything to you. That’s equitable.

I am as repelled by you as much as you are repulsed by me. You detest me, I despise you. You hate me, so I’m going to hate you back. It’s only fair.

I have seen enough of humanity to know how things really are, so I am going to be proactive in my loathing. I’m going to use some defensive hate against the rest of society – I’m going to do a little preemptive hating. Consider it precautionary hatred. I know that you’re going to abhor me, so I’m going to abominate you first. It’s only just.

WOMEN NEED CORRECTION

by Mr. Mean-Spirited




I’m not going to lie to you: I’ve been known to slap a woman around. I am not proud of it – sometimes I just can’t resist putting woman in her place. Often the only way that woman can be brought to a recognition is to smack some sense into her.

Thumping a woman every now and then is going to release some rather primordial emotions in her. What she then feels toward the man who takes a swipe at her is going to be more intense, more animal, and more dangerous. Slapping a woman can destroy a relationship, but it can also unleash a gritty passion. And, with the right woman, it is worth taking that risk.

1. Hitting a woman will offer an insight into her personality that could not be captured by any other means. Transgressive acts produce transgressive insights. Giving a lady a dose of corporal correction yields a glimpse of the feminine mind that could be obtained no other way. Often doing something reprehensible will give an awareness that would be impossible to acquire without risking such social stigma. It is usually necessary to become a bit of a reprobate in order to understand the ultimate nature of reality.

2. Corporal punishment builds character. Just as hitting a child helps to strengthen personality; a righteous whack helps knock the liberalism out of a smug broad. A good right hook will tend to smack four years of liberal arts right out of her head. A slap across the mouth, from time to time, helps to deepen her personality – by bringing her back in contract with traditional feminine roles. Daily life was never intended to be without pain.

3. The expression on her face when she is given that first whack is absolutely priceless. Like a Zen mediation student getting a whack on the back from the master’s staff, that first slap makes a lie of all the liberal platitudes that government schools have pounded into her head. Coming to a physical awareness of the cruelty of life does have a way of brushing the clichés from the eyes. 

4. The kind of women who thinks she is too special to be hit is not the kind of female you really want to be around. For thousands of years of human history, men have beaten their mates; non-violence is the aberration in the Western tradition.  If women were hit by their mates for time immemorial, then modern damsels shouldn’t be treated any differently. Just because a girl now has a cell phone and a stylish haircut doesn’t mean that she is any better than her ancestors. Sexual violence has always been part of human heritage and will never disappear – so deal with it.

5. Women will assent to physical correction. I’m not going to say women enjoy being hit: they don’t. No one likes being hurt. Any gent who claims otherwise doesn’t know the first thing about females. She might resent the blow, but the woman will still accept a wallop from the right man. Although it is not exactly politically correct, there are actually times when a woman will assent to being smacked. What is more, the female knows exactly when she deserves a whack. The true lady realizes when a slap is warranted.

6. Men who do not use physical violence will be rigorously tested and regularly despised. Woe to the man who does not react when his gal is out of line. A woman will never respect a man who fails to knock her around when she breaks the rules. I’d rather that lover would come to hate me than to think I am not up to a little violence now and then. Women expect a man to put a bit of determination in his reprimand. Real men not only hit women, but a gentleman always knows just how much force is appropriate. Only a wimp bothers to argue with a woman; a true man uses his superior body mass to get his point across physically.

7. When you hit a woman, you immediately remove yourself from consideration as a suitable father for her children. When you raise a hand against her, she knows that you would not ever be a good dad, so she yields to your overriding objective of keeping the relationship childfree. A guy who beats women demonstrates that he is simply unsuitable to have around kids, so you won’t have to worry about any surprises with the home pregnancy test kit. A touch of physical violence makes the romance more primal. (Leave the diaper-changing to the pantywaists.)

8. Bruises are emblems of our encounter. Look, it is not like I hit a woman every day; it is not that I cause her any real bodily damage. I just sometimes feel the need to leave a marker of my passage across her fleshy territory, like a surveyor’s mark upon the expanse. Not a sign of ownership as much as visual notice that my hands have passed across her.

9. Female erotic fantasy often includes being hit. In public, women will talk and talk and not shut-up about a society in which gents and broads are equal. But in private, ladies never fantasize about such wimpy egalitarian men. Women are not aroused by pansy-assed males, but by a guy with a firm hand. The men that end-up between a woman’s legs are seldom non-violent. Female sexual fantasies will often involve a male figure who can dominate her; whether that dominance is sexually expressed will depend on the extent of her socialization into the feminist agenda.

10. Slapping a woman is an act of tenderness. Striking a soulmate is far more intimate than making love. Should you raise a bruise, she will look at you with mingled dislike and devotion; she will loathe you, but she will be loyal. She might well detest you, but she will remain dedicated. Beating a woman does not make a girlfriend obey every whim – quite the reverse – but smacking a lady makes her focus upon you (at least after the swelling subsides). Raising a hand forces attachment, not affection. A women who is regularly administered the belt almost never abandons her man.

A gracious woman receives her chastisement without complaint. A seductive dame doesn’t fuss when she is set right. A charming hostess does not remonstrate when she is chastened. She’ll flinch when you take her in your arms, but she will press herself harder against you. She’ll jump when your fingers brush the back of her neck, but she will incline her head in front of you.

11. When I lay a hand on a woman, we create a bond. Romance isn’t what you see in the movies. Although violence against women is not exactly socially accepted at this moment in history, such brutality does make carnal knowledge all that more in-depth. Beating a woman is a sort of pact, a sign of a fleshy covenant. Consider my punch as the signing of a contract.

12. Having your mark on her changes the sexual experience. Just as make-up sex after a knockdown argument is more satisfying, so screwing a woman you have just slapped is more emotionally fulfilling than the casual variety. Sex with a woman you have hit carries deeper meaning. Copulation isn’t all caresses and kisses; if fornication doesn’t leave blemishes, you aren’t doing your adultery right. The most intense orgasms always leave most lingering bruises.

I make no secret of my proclivities; I do not hide my history of violence toward women.  If a lady comes to dislike my touch, then she is always free to leave.  I am not some Puerto Rican kidnapper with an assortment of teenagers chained in the basement; I take no prisoners.  Feminists would have you believe that dames are as strong as any man – except in one area – although broads at said to be as powerful as any male, these bitches just can’t seem to open the front door when subjected to unwanted chastisement.  If a female doesn’t like being nudged, she can always leave.  If a woman stays with me, she knows what is coming to her.

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE UNLOVED

by Mr. Mean-Spirited

 

I will not raise your spirits. I am not about to inspire you. I am not here to praise you. I do not propose to motivate you. I have no intention of making you feel better about yourself. My dear reader, I have no interest in leaving you with any good feelings whatsoever.

Just because you read my blog, I am not going to make a friend out of you. I am not about to hold your hand; I won’t pat you on the back, and you’re certainly not going to get a hug out of me.

I am not going to sugar-coat things. I am not going to tell you white lies. I am not going to whisper sweet nothings.
I only promise to show you things as they truly are. And then I am going to smear your face in it. I swear to rub the misery of life across your eyeballs.

You won’t be feeling any warm glow after you have read these postings. But you will know how things really stand. At a point in history when humanitarians will tell you anything just to make you feel better, I swear to reveal the awful truth, no matter how much you might suffer.  

You see, I’ll be the one to divulge what everyone else is keeping from you. The well-adjusted members of society do not have the guts to let you know how it is, but I’m going to give it to you straight: no one is ever going to love you.  I will say that again: you will never be loved. You are never going to be adored by anyone. Your kind is not exactly irresistible. There is not a soul on earth that will ever be devoted to a creature like you. I’m merely admitting what everyone else mutters under the breath.

Don’t trust me, go look at yourself in the mirror. Can you honestly think anyone could love the likes of you? Look at those blemishes on your face – do you really believe anyone could love that?

Do you really imagine that no one was watching what you did when you pulled that morsel of snot from your nose this morning? Do you really assume that no one has seen those shit stains on your underwear? Do you really suppose that no one observed what you did when you masturbated the other night?

Don’t you realize that your body odor is a bit pungent? Hasn’t anyone ever told you that they can smell you coming? Just take a whiff, if you still have any doubts.

You need to understand that you make some really pathetic noises when you sleep.

And you really think that no one knows what you’ve done? You know what you did that day – and everyone else can see it in your face as well. Frankly, you turn the stomach of the opposite sex as much as you nauseate yourself: deep down, you disgust yourself – and for good reason.

There are some human beings who are so repulsive that everyone else can see it in one glance – and that one glimpse reveals just how hideous you really are. There is a reason why people look at you like that. There is a reason why people whisper when you come around. There is a reason why bus passengers scoot over when you sit next to them. There is a reason why a cashier doesn’t want to touch your hand when returning your change. There is a reason why your friend didn’t invite you to their last party.

Sure, from time to time, so do-gooder might sniff-out how desperately you want to be loved – and tell you what you want to hear. But they will repeat how special you are only when they want to get something out of you. And a hopeless chump like you will fall for it. But once a humanitarian has extracted everything that they can from you, the will cast you aside like a piece of soiled toilet paper.  

Surely you must have suspected something. You must have questioned whether people were keeping something from you. Surely you must have wondered why all the people who were supposedly the closest to you would always hint and hit you up for something. Other humans can only stomach your presence when they have something of yours in their pocket.

Only a hopeless dupe believes it when a woman tells him that she loves him. Only a worthless slut believes a man when he tells her that she is special. A human who trusts other people only gets taken advantage-of by those closest to him.

It is one thing to be unloved, but only a pathetic dupe like you would be so needy that you are actually deceived by someone claiming to adore you. ‘Tis better to have never loved at all, than to be deceived by someone pretending to care about you. Better to accept that you will always be alone than to endure the inevitably of deception.

Now go look in that mirror and see if I am not right.

 

IMMIGRATION ALWAYS CREATES A POLICE STATE

by Mr. Mean-Spirited

 

 

 



When the ruling elite forces different cultures to live together, there is one thing that you will feel immediately: not escalating crime, not increased congestion, not expanding poverty – as much as sudden restrictions in individual liberty. When different races are deposited in the same city, there is one thing that you will sense instantly: the eyes of the secret police upon your back.

1. Ethnic hatred is inevitable. Let’s face reality: people don’t like each other no matter what. Different races are always going to hate each other: different tribal groups have loathed their neighbors throughout history, and different cultures are going to abhor one another to the end of time. Differing ethnicities are always going to despise each other. Whether you like it or not, two neighbors with oppositely colored skin are never going to get along. Tribes that fought each other for thousands of years of human history are not suddenly going to mingle and intermingle just because they have moved to a country with air-conditioning and indoor plumbing. The only way that a multicultural society can temporarily exist is for a totalitarian government to stifle this innate animosity.

2. Ethnic groups give preferences to blood relations. Every healthy clan is always going to give the benefit to members of their own tribe at the expense of outsiders. In any strong kingroup, the demands of blood take precedence over the laws of the host country. And since that alien populace is invading your homeland, that occupying population is far more vibrant and vigorous than your own native stalk. After all, there is something downright masochistic about assisting foreigners at your own expense. A public that weakens and impoverishes itself to come to the aid of exotic foreigners is on its last legs. Any immigrant group will flout local customs if they gain some advantage over the enfeebled majority.

Immigrants cross borders to take advantage of the people on the other side. Once the locals come to a fragile realization of this double-standard, the natives tend to develop a few resentments toward the aliens. The ruling elite will then use every resource of the totalitarian state to keep this antipathy and antagonism from flowering into bloodshed and butchery.

3. Ethnic mingling is unnatural. Forcing different people from all over the world to come to one spot and live together is abnormal, and this aberrant population mix will invariably result in social strain. The only way that government can prevent that tension from developing into violence is for the authorities to temporarily repress and oppress and suppress that healthy hostility toward outsiders. The minority will always resent the majority, and the natives will always be suspicious of the newcomers. Human beings are never going to get along with one another no matter how much diversity is forced upon them—and this normal and natural dislike is going to be expressed in terms of fists and bullets.

4. Ethnic tranquility is always short-lived. Authorities might well be able to fake a temporary calmness between the competing tribal groups by using a massive police state to hold these immigrant rivalries in check. But an ethnic truce is always transitory. That artificial bottling up of social passions will require ever-increasing amounts of totalitarian regulations and restrictions. Only a massive secret police network can hold a multicultural nation state together. Expanding diversity will inevitably result in enhancing governmental tyranny.

5. Ethnic mixing always increases the power of the police state. Terrorism is the immediate consequence when two distinct cultures are forced to dwell in the same geographic space. The ruling class will always try to put a stop to such cultural conflict with its secret intelligence system. For instance, right after the United States attempted to incorporate a massive flood of migrants from Eastern Europe in the early part of the 20th Century, the intelligence establishment launched the Palmer Raids against its own citizens. Just as refugees transform the cities with new ethnic restaurants and exotic palaces of worship, such a foreign influx also increases the number of secret police keeping watch.

As the demographics continue to change in the United States, individual liberty will proportionally decline. As minority population levels increase, there will be a corresponding rise in bureaucratic oppression. Whenever the authorities open the borders, the officials will invariably press down upon the traditional Americans with a heavy hand. The greater the multiculturalism, the greater the state surveillance. The greater the diversity, the greater the restrictions on free speech. The greater the “inclusiveness,” the greater the demands for political correctness. The more minorities on the city streets, the more the restraints on private gun ownership. The more the bureaucrats talk about tolerance, the more certain that the government will end up totalitarian. Diversity always ends up as tyranny.  

No matter how many terrorist acts are committed by the naturalized arrivals, the establishment will invariably direct its repression toward the victimized natives. No matter how fanatical the migrants, it will always be the host population that is required to be more tolerant. No matter how many crimes the aliens commit, the indigenous population will consistently suffer the blame. The governing liberals will use immigration as an argument for heightening their scrutiny over the indigenous citizens. Curiously enough, the ruling class will use the exact, same feel-good excuse for inflating immigration (“protecting families and saving children”) as the explanation for increasing police spying (“saving families and protecting children”).

 

The greater the multiculturalism, the greater the extent of government surveillance of the victimized majority. The greater the social differences, the greater the state spying. The greater the level of foreign immigration, the fewer civil liberties that will ultimately remain. Only a massive and mighty secret police network can prevent ethnic rivalry from turning into ethnic warfare. Migration always ends up consuming every bit of a country’s freedom.

6. Ethnic hostility is the mark of a vigorous culture. Ethnic rivalries are the antibodies of culture. Hatred is a social immune system of society. Xenophobia functions the same in the social organism as white blood cells in the body. Repressing racial hostilities only makes the nation sick. Multiculturalism is a sort of infection of the nation state. Diversity is not strength, but a social cancer. Around the time you see minorities on every street corner, you know the country is terminal.

7. Ethnic amalgamation can best be prevented by provoking ethnic animosity. The only way to repel multiculturalism is not to petition your legislative overloads (we all know what a waste of time it would be to ask the government bureaucrats to actually follow the Constitution), but the way to reject diversity is to treat immigrants with a continual hatred. The only way to renounce the liberal agenda is to respond with constant malevolence. Remaining mean-spirited is the only way to resist the altruists. Kindness is always acquiescence. The spiteful citizen always refuses humanitarian conformity.

 

DEADBEAT DADS ARE HEROES

by Mr. Mean-Spirited





No figure in modern America is more heroic than the deadbeat dad. The child-support resistor courageously struggles against the economic slavery of forced fatherhood. The deadbeat dad's brave refusal to pay makes him a freedom-fighter against the servitude of tyrannical responsibility. No matter how much the do-gooder might insist that a father has an obligation to the community, the deadbeat is one of the last surviving individualists who still value personal autonomy over social duty.  The deadbeat dad battles against financial servitude.

1. Deadbeat dads are the bravest souls in modern America. Look, the deadbeat dad understands all-too-well that no other individual is as despised as a man who refuses to support his children. The deadbeat dad obviously realizes that he will be heartily detested by decent society. Yet the deadbeat has the moral fiber to stick to his guns – and to withstand this extortion. These courageous individuals are well aware of what society does when a man dares to resist the do-gooders’ protection racket. Because the deadbeat dad questions the legitimacy of these shakedown artists, he threatens the cushy jobs of the whole child-protection establishment. There are billions of dollars in pension funds that are jeopardized by his bounced check.

Refusing to waste money on a worthless child takes considerable bravely in this day and age of near-compulsory parenting. Think of the deadbeat dad as a liberator crusading against the humanitarian's notion of financial duty. 

2. Child support payments would be wasted anyway. Surely if a slut is too dumb to get an abortion when some one-night-wonder knocks her up, then the breeder will obviously be too stupid to manage money—the mother would just blow any child-support on lottery tickets and meth anyway. Let's face it, if a dumb broad doesn't have the common sense to get rid of the pregnancy in the first place, then she isn't going to have the brains to raise a child properly. Things are going to turn out badly with the little bastard no matter how much money the bitch gets, so why even bother sending the whore a check? The deadbeat dad understand what really happens to money paid for child support.

3. Adults must take precedence over children. It is not likely that the kid is going to amount to anything anyway, so why waste any more money on the repulsive critter? Even if two parents were to raise the brat, it is rather doubtful that the parasite is going to make any contribution to civilization anyway, so why not cut your losses right now? The worthless bastard is not going to grow up and make any scientific advancement to American culture anyway. Better that an infant goes hungry than a father has to do without a six-pack.

4. Just because sperm was deposited in some slut’s cunt, a man shouldn’t be held liable for 18 years of financial payments. Once a gentleman has abandoned his semen, he should have no more concern about the consequences than he does when casting aside a used Kleenex. Being coerced into paying child support for the outcome of his spew makes about as much sense as a bloke having to purchase antibiotics because of a bacterial culture in his nasal drippings. A fertilized ovum has about as much cosmic importance as a gnat coated in snot. A new life has about as much value as anything else that comes out of the end of your dick. 

5. Children are worthless parasites. A deadbeat dad shows that everything the mass media says about offspring is sentimental bullshit. In an age of sanctimonious platitudes about the importance of children, the deadbeat demonstrates the real valuation of a kid. It is only fair that if the bastard was conceived as an afterthought, then the creature should be treated as an afterthought throughout life. True, it is not the brat’s fault he was an unwelcome accident, but unwanted kids are not worth anything anyway. A baby has just as much monetary worth as the amount of a deadbeat dad’s check: zero.

It takes a certain manliness to consecrate your life to your own amusement—and it certainly requires quite some testosterone to live your life without a thought about where your spermatozoa might swim. I've met plenty of wimpy fathers in my time, but a deadbeat dad is never going to be called a sissy. Think of the deadbeat dad as a beer-drinking ninja battling against totalitarian responsibility. Let us raise a shot-glass in admiration of the heroism of the deadbeat dad.